Perfectionist Musings Gifts

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

My child is a genius.

Perfection

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Chris felt that, with diligence, he could teach Jack to hit a 1-iron by 11 months.

"You're welcome."

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

Santa's Out Tray.

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

Parental Anxiety

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Mommy has made this astonishing cake just to get you to eat your peas and provide valuable insight for your therapist in twenty years.'

Parenting Wonks

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."