Pepper Pranksters Pillows

"The trick is to always carry some ground pepper and throw it behind you to stop the bloodhounds from following your scent. . ."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

'Dog got your clog?'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Back to the Holidays

Self-walking dog

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

Man and woman entering the tunnel of love, the man has a drill to scupper the boat.

Happy New Year

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

Best in Heat.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."