Pest Prankster Pillows

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"It's for you."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'The power is off, I've checked: We can chew as much as we want...'

Bugged You

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Fishing from the Pier

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'Where are you going?'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

Self-walking dog

'Dog got your clog?'

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

Hallowe'en wake up call

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

Happy New Year

Best in Heat.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."