Pet Prankster Pillows

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

'Already got one.' (Cat to a cat salesman selling automatic door openers.)

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Ambulatory Dog

'For goodness sake, what do you expect me to say?'

An old dog learns a new trick.

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Signing it does not increase its value.'

Simple Dog Humour

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

Cat and dog run into tunnel...tiger emerges other end, licking its lips.

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

'I'm telling you the truth! Toilet water is no better than water straight from the tap.'

'Hon, did you see that ultra-adhesive compound I brought home from the lab?'

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

Dog drawing glasses and moustache on lost cat poster.

'Did I startle you?'

Veterinary Surgeon's waiting room, dog walking in through pet door.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

'Those toys you left us got boring, so we borrowed your paintball gear and had a little fun.'

"Actually he's not begging."

'He feigns death every time I ask him to fetch my slippers!'

The 5 second rule: canine edition

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Cat's 'To Do' list.

"I think the dog swallowed the remote!"

'It's the dog next door for you!'

Cat putting dog poison into rat poison box.

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

'Fido's looking old, don't you think, Cynthia?'

101 uses of a dead cat: zip line.

Dog chasing after cat - false teeth are stuck on its tail.

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

'What did we say about playing dress up?' (pets caught in the act)

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'