People Who Love Quirky Humor Gifts

'Shocked? You should be! After all those years of toil and loyal sacrifice, that's your net worth! Wake up, Fido! On Lesson Three, we'll offer tips on planning your financial future!'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

Theatre Masks and Butts

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Astral Projection

"Fresh pepper?"

"Bless You."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

He wanted a different one.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'Can I have flies with that'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

So You've Cloned Yourself

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,