People Who Love Dining Out Gifts

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Life is for the birds.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Today's special... donuts.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Rump roast?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"