Dine-out Lover Gifts

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

Champagne Charlie.

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

Three Pigs.

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'How's the curry?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"What do you recommend today?"

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

" and my husband will have..."

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

'I understand that some patrons are getting flies in their soup.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch