Dine-out Lover Gifts

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

'Can I get a box for this?'

Champagne Charlie.

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Linguini for two?"

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"What do you recommend today?"

Three Pigs.

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

'How's the curry?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Yes I know I ordered fresh crab but..."

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

"Can I start you off with my disappearance?"

" and my husband will have..."

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."