Dining Out Enthusiast Gifts

The Ostrich Syndrome: 'Who gets the check?'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"You will soon be stuck with the check."

'Seperate cheques?'

'I don't see where it says best if taken with meals eaten out.'

"Pardone Monsieur, the restaurant is non smoking"

'You could have waited until the fly settled elsewhere before swatting it...!

You must be this wide to enter the restaurant.

'Excuse me waiter, but my primordial soup is literally teeming with life.'

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

Tip.

"I hope they offer same day service."

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'How is the water prepared?'

"I'm sorry but the salmon apparently changed course in mid-stream."

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

"The chef apologizes. Your breakfast has devolved from a crepe to an omelet to a breakfast burrito.

"Can your chef prepare #7 from this other restaurant's menu that costs less?"

'I understand that some patrons are getting flies in their soup.'

'Tip? Sure. Don't be so presumptuous.'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

'I hate it when they bring their own sommelier.'

'Any requests'

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

'Great! you ate the waiter, now how am I going to order!?'

'Wait! Let me get the tip.'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Can I start you off with my disappearance?"

"Hi, welcome to Hooter."

"Careful, these plates are extremely dirty."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."