Pentagon Employee Gifts

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Outer Space Outsourcing

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Servicemen.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Marry me astronaut

Blue Origin

Parking meter on the moon.

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Siri, find oxygen."

Space shuttle helping to unlock the secrets of the universe.

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'The good news is, I did find the jumper cables!'

Birds on the wing

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

While doing routine recon over the pacific ocean, lietenants Cromwell and Olsen make a startling discovery.

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

Well, our space probe is picking up definite signs of life, but I don't think it's friendly'

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

'We're drifting apart.'

'We better call Mission Control to report that all our projects and experiments on this flight have succeeded beyond belief.'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

Asteroid Bennu