Defense Employees Gifts

'I've joined the ranks of the unemployed.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

Storm in the out tray

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Servicemen.

Quality Control

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Trump

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'I was in the catering corps.'