Defense Employees Gifts

'I've joined the ranks of the unemployed.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Storm in the out tray

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Quality Control

Servicemen.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Trump

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I was in the catering corps.'