Pensive Piscator Gifts

Goodbye cruel world.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Swimming Prankster

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Beginning Yarder.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Cruise.

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

This is the last time I host a pool themed birthday party!"

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'I will make an appointment to visit with a financial planner, dear--right after I get done taking down the Christmas lights.'

'I know that you like to keep your books straight, George, but it was only 5p!'

'This place is a dive...'

"Wait an hour after eating to swim? Mom, this is America. We never stop eating."

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'I didn't know you had a heated pool!'

Stuck behind the eight ball.

Refraction

Change Rooms.

"It's the deep end."

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

Things Could Be Worse. . . Caution Pool Drained.

Boy in swimming pool turns into a fish.

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.