Pensive Philosopher Gifts

'I just realized that the average age of all my old friends' is 'dead'.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"I cross the road to forget."

"Is this who I am?"

Non Thought For The Day.

'Dad, what is peace?'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Don’t think of that tennis ball as lost. Think of it as finally free."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Lost and Profound.

How did life begin? Image shows a strand of dna in the form of a question mark (with a single cell as the dot, floating in water or primeval soup). The image also refers to life beyond the earth, with the cell-like blobs resembling galaxies in outer space

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

Understanding art.

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

"Do you think there's life out there?"

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'Son, life is a mixed blessing, they eat the fancy nuts and toss us the peanuts.'