Pensions Manager Pillows

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"Managing pension funds must be a tough job..."

"According to this article over 60% of people have never consulted a pensions adviser..."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Someone loses his pension.

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"You should probably pass if they offer stock options."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Rolling Over a Pension.

Mismanagement Consultant.

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."