Pension Day Gifts

Post office - Even Pension Day was the same. Dorian, was always asked to produce his birth certificate.

Polly txt speak

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

'Super Dog'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Pampered and poodled.

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Fill it up!"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Dog ignores angry cat.

Dog Wrestling.

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'What can we do about this leadership course?'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'