Pension Gifts

Healthy as a Horse

Runaway Bride.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Someone loses his pension.

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Rolling Over a Pension.

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."