Pension Gifts

Runaway Bride.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

Someone loses his pension.

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

Rolling Over a Pension.

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.