Pension Schemes Gifts

"This one would give even more benefits for when you go."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Someone loses his pension.

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Rolling Over a Pension.

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."