Pension Schemes Pillows

"This one would give even more benefits for when you go."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

Someone loses his pension.

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Rolling Over a Pension.

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'