Pensions Pillows

"He's 104. He always comes back on his birthday - I worked out he'd be gone at 69."

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

'We have a wide range of Annuities'

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'I can't remember whether I'm retiring or training today!'

"It isn't enough to feel sixty-five. You have to be sixty-five."

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

401K.

NHS Tax Bill

Executive pension pot...workers pension piss pot.

Video Games - Tomb Raider, Pension Raider

"We're not accusing you of abusing the system, but I understand you've been on Social Security for 150 years."

'We're both collecting Social Security. But my husband supplements our income by losing money in the stock market.'

"They want to push back the age at which we'll be denied social security benefits."

Newspaper reads: Retirement age raised -

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"We explained to the Minister that pension management fees were incredibly complex..."

'My dad says at this rate he'll never be able to retire from his job.'

"Remeber I said I'd make sure our savings lasted as long as we did..."

"...I'll have none of that secret agent hijinks in the pension queue, okay?"

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"I just found out the amount of my monthly pension. They should rename this office the INHUMAN relations department!"

"Be glad to be young and poor. This way you've got enough time to prepare for old-age poverty."

'It's incredible - one in six people alive today will live to see retirement.'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'So unfair, Maisie gets far more than I will just for having a dead husband.'

Man trying to grab a pension from a crane slot machine

Pensioners Ahead

Help Me Top Up My Pension Fund

"...we think we can boost your pension."