Penny Piler Gifts

'Every month put a little money away and at the end of the year . . . you'll be surprised how little you have.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I just..."

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

World's cheapest car

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."