Penny Pincher Pro Gifts

'No, I'm not sick, I just can't afford to come into work today.'

'We have a problem!'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"I just..."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Rising Gas Prices

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

World's cheapest car

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."