Penny Pincher Gifts

"I have a lot of student loans to pay back."

'If you're alive this time next week, you'll be living beyond your means.'

Handled all of my own investments

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

'Put all your money in a savings account.'

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

'We are on the road to recovery. We just happen to be going against the traffic.'

Bob didn't have much disposable income. But somehow he still managed to throw away a little each week.

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"By the time we got him in here, he had already lost an awful lot of liquidity."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Cost of electricity...and wax.

'So far, so good ? I've got our budget all balanced except for food, clothing, and shelter!'

'I wish they would just spring for a paper shredder.'

"They have competitive rates. It's the service charges that kill you."

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

Director of Nickel and Diming

Office of Management and Budget and Mandatory Cuts

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

Don't take too much - we're having a crisis!

"Let go."

Costs outweigh the Benefits. Please Help.

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

You break your neck to get a quarter, but you refuse to clip a coupon!

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

'They're having money problems. Better hide your piggy bank.'

'Yeah, but think of the money I saved, by NOT seeing a doctor.'

'I've taken the liberty of drawing a graph of your savings.'

Costs and Blood Pressure

School Supplies and Small Loans.

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"We have just enough left over to regret everything I ever did."

"Although it may be a simple procedure, keep in mind that it comes with the risk of being billed for a major operation."