Penalty Whiz Gifts

Football referee who dropped all his cards.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

Ref shows footballer green card.

Penalty

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

"Be rational."

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

Official Support Groups

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

'The England players couldn't stop scoring when they were practising penalties. . .But that might have been because they were practising with a goalkeeper who couldn't save them.'

"Er...Eric..."

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

Footballer.

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Your reputation for taking penalties doesn't scare me... Ready when you are."

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

Einstein: The early years.

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

Spot the Ball Live

"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Hockey and Cell Phones

Deathbed Conversion

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'