Penalty Aficionado Gifts

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Satya Nutella

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"1-1"

Motorherd

Bangers and Mash

DUNVOTIN

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

Benjamin Franklin 'If I only knew,'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

Cat Scan

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

No jay walking.

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Litterary Dogs.

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

Better Not Squash.

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

Beam Me Up Spotty

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

"Oh, for God's sake. It's just Marketing!"

Rap-scallions