Penalty Kick Enthusiast Gifts

'Death penalty'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Funky Facts: Football.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Goal

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Footballer's Wages

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

Crime and punishment - football.

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'

Deathbed Conversion

The corner

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

A footballer scores a goal with a back kick while goalie not paying attention.

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

Football Hand of God.

'Penalty'

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

Honey I wish you wouldn't bring your home with you