Penalty Pro Gifts

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

RIP Joe Biggs: Penalty Taker Supreme, Sadly Missed.

Footballer.

Goal Keeper.

Spot the Ball Live

"Er...Eric..."

'The England players couldn't stop scoring when they were practising penalties. . .But that might have been because they were practising with a goalkeeper who couldn't save them.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Goal

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

Penalty

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

Official Support Groups

"He's beginning to find that homeworking is much harder than he thought."

Tickets. Game Today. Football is not the same up here. Buying a ticket from a scalper won't get you in --- You have to see Saint Peter to get through the gate. Need Ticket. The players literally fly around the field. And all penalties are forgiven. Are there any similarities to the game on earth? Yeah. When the officials review a close play, it takes an eternity!

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

Three people waiting in a queue.

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

"I can't wait that long."