Penalty Pro Pillows

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

RIP Joe Biggs: Penalty Taker Supreme, Sadly Missed.

Footballer.

Goal Keeper.

Spot the Ball Live

"Er...Eric..."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Goal

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

Penalty

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

"He's beginning to find that homeworking is much harder than he thought."

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

Three people waiting in a queue.

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"I can't wait that long."

"Try not to anticipate trouble, Miss Mead."

'I guess i's not the worst brawl we've ever seen... but I suppose we should penalize someone anyway.'

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'