Pen Wrangler Gifts

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

Freedom of the press

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Flies up the ante!

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

A child and his dog

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

Steve Irwin.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Snake Dress-Up

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

"I handle chatty people for him."

Forrest Gander

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"You think they all look like security risks."

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.