Pen Palling Pillows

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

"You're such a good listener."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Beanirrito"

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Tequila Mockingbird

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Freedom of the press

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

You've Got Mail

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'The good news is, you write what you know. Unfortunately, you don't know much.'

"Can I borrow a pen?"

List making as therapy.

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Forrest Gander

Underrated tweet

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

Pen mightier than sword.