Pen Hoarder Gifts

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

"First day back at work. Don't forget to get some office stationery."

'That's our mission statement.'

Where Indian ink came from.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Biro Security

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"It has come to my attention that yous needs some protection."

Festive squad

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

The Secret Life of Pens

Forrest Gander

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

Pen mightier than sword.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

Hubert Nicholson.

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"Run out and get me some lunch, Simon."

A beautiful Wedge-Tailed eagle circling high above.

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.