Peg Leg Pirate Fan Gifts

Ye Old Mariners Inn.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Pirate

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

Neptune

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Treasure Island Book.

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Shall I let them breathe."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

To the Greeks' dismay, before the Trojans discovered the horse it was stolen by portcullis pirates.

Pirates

"Ever killed a man?"

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

A pirate uses his hook on a buzz wire game.

"The fancy dress store ran out of crutches."

"I need the sun's energy to warm my blood and give me energy. You could almost say I'm solar-powered..."

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp.'"

"Sorry! I'm a little sea-hoarse..."

Landlubbers ONLY!

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"