Peg Leg Pirate Fan T-Shirts

Ye Old Mariners Inn.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Pirate

"We’re a lending aquarium."

Neptune

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Treasure Island Book.

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Shall I let them breathe."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

Pirates

To the Greeks' dismay, before the Trojans discovered the horse it was stolen by portcullis pirates.

"Ever killed a man?"

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

"I need the sun's energy to warm my blood and give me energy. You could almost say I'm solar-powered..."

"The fancy dress store ran out of crutches."

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"Sorry! I'm a little sea-hoarse..."

'It's the last time you get shore leave on your own!'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"Marge, did you leave something soaking in the sink again?"

Landlubbers ONLY!