Pedantic Philosopher Gifts

"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"I cross the road to forget."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Non Thought For The Day.

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."