Pearl Philosopher Gifts

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

"I'm not happy."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"We're going out -- of course I'm wearing my pearls."

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

Birth of Darth Vader

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

Pearly Queen Gates

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

Life isn't just black and white.

'Due to a series of gravitational lenses, all the stars we observe over there...are realy over there.'

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

'I prefer it this way.'

'In what context do you mean 'Are you done?''

"Venal, narcissistic, power hungry politicians. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and i don't even feel a breeze."

'These days, if you have to ask, you can't afford ANYTHING.'

"Bob is constantly starting things he doesn't finish."

"Christmas, birthdays...this divine guide will help you deal with idiotic gifts..."

Conscientious objection.