Pearl Philosopher T-Shirts

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"I'm not happy."

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"We're going out -- of course I'm wearing my pearls."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Birth of Darth Vader

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'Is he taking the piss?'

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

Pearly Queen Gates

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

Life isn't just black and white.

Yes, dear, it's a very good pearl for your first try.

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

'Due to a series of gravitational lenses, all the stars we observe over there...are realy over there.'

'I didn't feel answers were necessary. All the questions seemed rhetorical.'

'I prefer it this way.'

'In what context do you mean 'Are you done?''

"Venal, narcissistic, power hungry politicians. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and i don't even feel a breeze."

"Christmas, birthdays...this divine guide will help you deal with idiotic gifts..."

"Bob is constantly starting things he doesn't finish."

'These days, if you have to ask, you can't afford ANYTHING.'

Al, do you ever feel like the rest of the world is passing you by? Yes, but I tell myself it's only pigeons and squirrels. That's why I like sitting in the park.