Peanut Butter T-Shirts

Recipe: Personal Peanut Butter

"Another Bermudez family specialty is born!"

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Table Of The Elephants

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

Jelly I.V.

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Lunch Meet

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

'This feeling of passion I have for you ...'

"No religious nuts!"

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

For the Love of Peanut Butter

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

'We know it's your dream, son. But stay in school. Get your degree. Don't pin all your hopes on a major league career.'

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

Doug has another one of his flying dreams.

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Food Science Lab. There's jealousy among the peanut butter molecules. "Smooth" does out all the time and "chunky" can't get a date.

"It's like as soon as we got married the man became so stupid we can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker."

"He never outgrew his love of milk and cookies. He just added beer and peanuts."

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."