Peaceful Pugilists Gifts

'Bit late to find out you're a pacifist, ain't it?'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

Global warming.

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

'Supervisor of the Year'

'I don't think his fists can take much more of the punishment your head's inflicting on them.'

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'Darling. Let's get the Gustavssons over this weekend for some more bare knuckle boxing.'

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

'You've got him worried - he's afraid he's going to kill you!'

'Look out for his low punches.'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

'Such petulance!'

Mike Tyson

'Let him go.' - 'No, he'll hit me again.'

'I don't understand - he's just as strong as ever.'

A boxer uses a punching bag while he has broken legs.

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

'Don't worry about the loss. At 143.75, if you gain 3 ounces, we can try for the light junior welter super bantam title.'

"Er, no. He's out at the moment."

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

'You sure this is allowed?.'

Wordplay: Shock Absorber.

Shadow Punch

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

"Remember you said you could beat him with your eyes closed? Now's your chance."

Boxing Fans Discuss Labor Union Membership

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."

'Shadow boxing.'