Payroll Clerk Gifts

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

"Now, what were you saying about an error on your check?"

Check zombies.

Accountant job

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

"You've paid me a man's wages you sexist bastard!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

University Book Store.

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'