Accounts Payable Clerk Gifts

"I used to be a hunter, I was just transferred to accounts payable."

"Sorry, we stopped putting calls through to the accounts department... People kept ringing up and asking us for payments!"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Useless information"

Sheep Ledger

Check zombies.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Gone Bookkeepin'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Accountant Manqué

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Records?

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."