Accounts Payable Clerk Pillows

"I used to be a hunter, I was just transferred to accounts payable."

"Sorry, we stopped putting calls through to the accounts department... People kept ringing up and asking us for payments!"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"Useless information"

Sheep Ledger

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Check zombies.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Gone Bookkeepin'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

Accountant Manqué

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Records?

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

University Book Store.

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.