Pawsome Punster Pillows

"You comin' to Duke's blow-out tonight? It's B.Y.O.T. Bring your own toilet..."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dog Walker

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Bitter End

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

A dog reads a newspaper

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Hamlet.

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

Surfin' the web.

'Play dead.'