Paw-sitive Thinker Gifts

"It's nice to be wanted."

"We can't get you a toy every time we go shopping."

Heel! Toe!

'If you're so smart, let's see you scratch your ear with your foot.'

"Has anyone seen my anti-depressants?"

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

Sometimes even our pets can feel depressed. I always try to do what I can.

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'It's times like this that I wish I was taller.'

'Lingerie works, but I usually lure Doug to the bedroom with a laser pointer.'

Man salutes as cat walks in.

"How sweet, he's become quite attached to you, vicar."

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'Up, Roger! On the table! Good Boy!...

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the leash isn't to protect you from dog-nappers.

Dog obedience school

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"That is not my pee I'm smelling."

"What the f**k is that b**ch doing?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'That was fun!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

Museum of dog memorabilia

"I'm trying to end my bone addiction."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'