Patient Pundit Gifts

'My earthly body is still in the doctor's waiting room.'

Corona Funeral

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Sputnik V

"Fact amnesty"

The Canary in the Coal Mine

"Darn COVID19 lockdowns! Master has decided to try his hand at home grooming..."

New scenario with the vaccine

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Look at all of the happy Nebraskans returning to work now that I've cut their federal covid unemployment benefits."

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

Pandemic Jeopardy

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"Now that you've been given the vaccine, let us know if you start craving raw meat."

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"Closed until further notice."

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"Better yet, let's call it a cure for the virus."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Viet Nam: Highly Contagious Variant

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."