Patient Pundit Pillows

'My earthly body is still in the doctor's waiting room.'

Corona Funeral

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Sputnik V

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"Fact amnesty"

The Canary in the Coal Mine

"Darn COVID19 lockdowns! Master has decided to try his hand at home grooming..."

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

New scenario with the vaccine

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Look at all of the happy Nebraskans returning to work now that I've cut their federal covid unemployment benefits."

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

Pandemic Jeopardy

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"Closed until further notice."

Viet Nam: Highly Contagious Variant

"Now that you've been given the vaccine, let us know if you start craving raw meat."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Better yet, let's call it a cure for the virus."

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."