Patient Patience Warrior Gifts

'To figuratively pound your fist into a wall in frustration because you've reached a pre-recorded message, press the 'pound' key. That's what it's for.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Fishing.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

Snail crossing

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

"Are you going to move?"

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'You've made fine progress since morning. You'll be first in line tomorrow.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

"What do you have to do to get business class?"