Paternity Revelation Pillows

'Ah ah! That's what I thought! The DNA tests prove that he is in fact a Cuckoo chick...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

New arrival

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Smartphone Sonogram

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Baby name suggestions.

'Mom says she has a souffl

Uterus: One size fits all.

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"