Paternity Revelation Gifts

'Ah ah! That's what I thought! The DNA tests prove that he is in fact a Cuckoo chick...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'I demand a DNA test.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

Baby name suggestions.

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Smartphone Sonogram

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.