Paternity Confirmation Gifts

'And if you think it isn't yours I'll see you at the DNA testing!'

'How do I know he's mine?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Early Piety

Next gen pregnancy tests.

A little bird told me...

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'I demand a DNA test.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

New arrival

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

Smartphone Sonogram

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Baby name suggestions.

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'