Paternity Confirmation Pillows

'And if you think it isn't yours I'll see you at the DNA testing!'

'How do I know he's mine?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Early Piety

A little bird told me...

Next gen pregnancy tests.

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'I demand a DNA test.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

New arrival

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Smartphone Sonogram

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Baby name suggestions.

'Mom says she has a souffl

Uterus: One size fits all.

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'