Paternity Puzzle Fan Gifts

Ah ah! That's what I thought! The DNA tests prove that he is in fact a Cuckoo chick...'

Bright idea

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'I found another pothole.'

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

'Look a huge bird!'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

A dog and a robot dog

Baby in Trunk.

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

A Star is Born.

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

"Hmm.... I think I'd better keep this to myself."

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

BABY (arrow pointing to belly) BEER (arrow pointing to belly).

Tic tac toe.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'Before we go in, try to forget everything you thought you knew about criminal masterminds!'

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

"Okay people, pagers, beepers, and cell phones ON."

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'We need someone in here, like now.'

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

That side up.

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

"It seems reasonable to assume that eating the stuff won't do us any good either."

Okay, Ernie, tell me if my left turn indicator is on. Yes - No - Yes - No - Yes.

'Thank you...and now could I trouble you for a ham on rye?'

Effective communications

'Whew!'