Pastoral Comedian Pillows

Support group for sheep.

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Monk Prompt

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

St. Elmo's fired.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

How's my sermon. . .

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

The ten ammendments

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Sermon Applause.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.